Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Dom v. Femme(and vice versa)

What's this all about?

Especially in the black lesbian community, it seems like you have to be one or the other and there is a finite separation between the two. Why? One distinctive benefit of being in lesbian relationships is the likelihood of gender equity. You don't have to live by a patriarchal system that values power over life, control over pleasure, and dominance over happiness (see Marilyn French) within your own household. Whenever I see examples of how doms marginalize femmes in our community it saddens me. It's especially noticeable with the baby dykes. I'm wondering if it's because so many girls in their generation have been raised without fathers so, they look for him in their partners? Within their minds, being marginalized is part of being a girl so, it forces doms to identify even more with their masculinity? Is this putting additional pressure on the doms? The more you act like the asshole type of guy, the more women you'll attract?
Some have told me what I think I'm seeing is actually separatism based on interests...maybe I'm having trouble viewing it that way because I fully enjoy all aspects of being a woman, masculine and feminine qualities alike.


Blogger tomboy said...

Well, I have read this blog. And I have to say this. Sometimes don't look @ the baby dykes and think oh they didn't have a father in the home.. Well, in my situation. My father was there. I have always felt like the protector between my mom, brother and my self. I have felt like this is my kingdom and I have to protect them from evil doers. Thas why I was the one with the most attitude,the bully,the bouncer..Every since coming out. Alot of folks have told me that I would be dom due to my attitude. At first, I came out as aggresive fem. (go figure) now i'm totally boy.. Sometimes get called lil boy,or mister.. Hey people don't you see my dayum tits.LOL!!

4:48 PM  

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