Thursday, June 29, 2006

Confused

My wife picked my son up from camp. A boy asked my son if that was his mom and he said yes. Y did he say yes? Because we're married, she was standing there, and he didn't want to hurt her feelings if he said no and, because he didn't know what else to say. My first thought is--If he feels like she is his mom, ok, say yes. But, if he feels differently, say no and that should be it. We talked about it and he wants me to come up with an answer: What should he call her to other people? His stepmother? His partner? His "her name"? His roommate? His parental unit? His co-parent? and then, how does he explain what that is if necessary?

I really don't know what to tell him. There's not one simple answer. It really depends on the situation. Help me out.

1 Comments:

Blogger Angie said...

I believe a lot of gay step-families deal with this same issue. I had this conversation with my son, and my partner's sons the other night. I don't remember how we got on the subject, but we ended up talking about who they should say we (my partner and I) were if asked by someone at school. I told them to just say that I (or my partner) was there God-mother, no biggie. Well, they were like - 'but I thought you were an Aunt'.

At this point I'm like, LAWD help me with this! I finally told them to just say whatever they were comfortable with wether it be God-mother or Aunt, but just be consistent.

Our boys are all between 12 and 13. We also have a 16-month old. For his purpose, we have defined ourselves as Mommie (me) and Moomae (moo-may). Now it will be really interesting when he is in 6th grade and one of his friends ask, 'Is that your mom?'. I can hear him now saying, 'No, that's my moomae!'.

8:12 AM  

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